A Real Page Turner
Imaginative, whimsical and entertaining, who doesn’t love children’s books? But are some beloved books not as innocent as they seem? We analyzed tales old and new, and found that, while likely written with good intentions, many kid’s stories are unintentionally scary. From murderous board games to suffocation by popcorn, we found 11 potentially traumatizing titles.
'The Little Match Girl' by Hans Christian Andersen
While often cited as a hopeful story, it’s hard to see even a speck of light in this classic children’s tale. On a particularly frigid New Year’s Eve, the story’s protagonist, a poor and hungry young girl, sells matches on the streets. She is freezing her little tush off but does not want to go home because her father will beat her if she hasn’t sold enough product. So, she sits in a corner and sees heartening visions of her dead grandma as she herself slowly dies. Plan to follow this bedtime story up with a visit to the therapist.
'Struwwelpeter' by Heinrich Hoffman
We all knew cautionary tales were scary enough, what, with Little Red Riding Hood’s grandmother getting eaten by a large wolf. But this German collection of stories originally published in 1845 not only has frightening tales of children nearly drowning (because they’re too busy looking up to notice the river in front of them!), emaciating to the point of death (because they’re not eating their pea soup!) and getting their thumbs cut off by the “red legg’d scissor-man” (because they’re sucking their thumbs!); but it provides the gruesome and scary pictures, to boot.
'Never Smile at a Monkey' by Steve Jenkins
While designed to keep curious children away from dangerous animals, this book may inspire kids to forgo nature altogether. Over the course of 32 pages, Jenkins informs his audience of just how many ways they can end up dead if they explore the great outdoors. If you want your grade schooler to stop asking if the family can get a dog, buy him this book and he won’t even want a pet rock.
'Chicka Chicka Boom Boom' by Bill Martin, Jr. and John Archambault
What happens when all the lowercase letters of the alphabet race up a coconut tree at the same time? Complete and violent mayhem: “p” gets a black eye, “g” has an asthma attack and “t” nearly knocks a tooth out. Thankfully, the uppercase letters come to save the day. While the story could end here, on a happy note, the last page has troublemaker “a” once again inciting his 26 lowercase pals to attempt another tree climbing free-for-all. Will the uppercase counterparts come to the rescue again? Or will the letters fall from the tree breaking limbs, necks, backs and your 3-year-old’s precious little heart?
'Popcorn' by Frank Asch
Much like popular stories Strega Nona and Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, Popcorn is about food turned deadly. When a naughty teenage bear throws a bash while his parents are out, he pops far too much popcorn and the entire party nearly suffocates in the sea of salty puffs. While his pals are drowning in snack food, they shout out how much they hate the bear for throwing such a lame shindig. We think this book’s author may secretly work for the National Pretzel Association.
'Jumanji' by Chris Van Allsburg
What’s scary about a board game coming to life? Absolutely everything. Especially when said game is trying to kill you. With one innocent roll of the dice, the gates of hell are apparently opened, releasing stampeding rhinos, gun-toting monkeys and a British serial killer in this short story turned picture book turned nightmare-inducing Robin Williams film.
'The Wolves in the Walls' by Neil Gaiman and David McKean
Young and faint of heart beware: this quirky story is the stuff of nightmares. No one believes little Lucy when she reports that she hears the scratching and howling of wolves in the walls of her family’s home. That is, until the sharp-toothed beasts emerge and run the family out of the house (before Lucy can grab her beloved pig puppet). They then run the family into the freezing cold, where they contemplate their miserable future. While Lucy and crew eventually send the wolves packing, the story ends with more noises in the walls, this time from elephants.
'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory' by Roald Dahl
First off, let us say that we loved and still love this book. However, there are without a doubt several very terrifying elements, including a hallucinogenic tunnel, deliriously happy knee-high humans and the eccentric Wonka himself. Kids get thrown down trash shoots, turned into blueberries, stretched as thin as a wire and sucked into pipes. While Wonka routinely says not to worry about the fate of these ill-behaved children, your 8-year-old may be more than a little concerned.
'T Is for Terrible' by Peter McCarty
This allegory uses a T. rex to show kids that if you put yourself in someone else’s shoes—particularly those individuals viewed as “bad” by society—you’ll realize they’re not as malevolent as they appear. The worthy message is overshadowed however, by a bizarre ending in which the T. rex your toddler just came to sympathize with plots to murder a slew of smaller creatures. The illustration on the last page shows the T. rex about to pounce.
'In The Night Kitchen' by Maurice Sendak
From the author of Where the Wild Things Are comes this far more controversial book. As a little boy named Mickey sleeps, he enters a surreal dream world where he gets trapped in a giant bowl of cake batter that’s about to go into the oven. He manages to escape and lands safely back in bed. Not so bad, eh? We left out one detail: As the toddler floats into fantasyland, he’s stripped of his clothing by an unseen force that we assume can only be the ghost of a pedophile.
'No, David!' by David Shannon
While there are no scary plot elements to this series, and no children freeze to death, every page of every book is terrifying because the main character is a sharp-toothed, beady-eyed demon child straight out of a Tim Burton movie.
