I’ve always been fascinated with Dutch life. Much beyond wooden shoes and windmills, of course. Since becoming a mother it’s been their way of parenting that intrigues me the most.
From the get go, the Dutch approach children differently – 16% of all births in the Netherlands occur at home. That is a staggering contrast when compared to the mere 1% in the United States. And overall, they just seem more family-centric. Children are meaningful contributors to the family and regardless of age, they are treated as whole beings with feelings and ideas of their own.
It’s a calm, understanding approach to the often hectic experience of parenting
One I felt myself drawn to after battling a little one who wouldn’t sleep, wouldn’t take a bottle, and generally needed me around the clock.
The Dutch didn’t seem to “battle”. I mean, I’m sure every parent has their rough moments, but as a culture their approach to babies and toddlers seem very different from the American vibe.
Rather than stand on the sidelines and observe across the ocean I decided to join in and research exactly why the Dutch seemed to have things figured out. I started by reading a book called The Wonder Weeks by Dutch ethnologist and developmental psychologist Frans X. Plooij and physical anthropologist Hetty van de Rijt.
The Wonder Weeks was touted as the stress-free guide to your baby’s behavior and holy-I-need-some-sleep-right-now me couldn’t wait to dive in. Because, well, WHY WAS MY BABY ACTING LIKE THIS?!?
Thankfully, this wasn’t one of those parenting books you have to read cover to cover
A quick skim of the intro and flip to my baby’s current age and I was mesmerized. Enlightened really. This stuff made sense!
The book outlines 10 “leaps” that little ones make during their first and second year. Each leap marks a mental growth spurt that, you guessed it, affects all sorts of things – from mood to sleep to independence. When a baby is approaching a leap, progressing through one, and wrapping one up, parents can learn to easily chart, adapt,and most importantly, understand the why behind their baby’s behavior.
Right now we just weathered Leap 6 where my little guy acquired the ability to categorize
In this leap, babies start to investigate and study everything around them – their way of understanding the world around them. As he made this leap he was noticeably more clingy, struggled to sleep, and was very disgruntled during diaper and clothing changes. Those are all telltale signs of a leap. Thankfully, we’re in the honeymoon phase post-leap where his normal, sweet personality is shining as he practices his new skill.
This is just a snapshot of all the wisdom you'll find between the covers of the book
Now that I know more about the mental development babies and toddlers go through early on, this book is the #1 resource I recommend to new parents. Why? Because it gave me the gift of understanding.
I won’t go as far as to say that I am completely stress-free or no longer lose my cool when parenting nonstop, but I am absolutely more understanding. Now, I get it. There is a reason behind why my baby is acting a certain way. That knowledge gives me fuel to dig deep and address what they need during their mental leaps and the accompanying storms. It’s the why and the reason for hard days and that’s enough to keep going.
Whether you choose to explore the book or app (both are worth it!), do yourself a favor and implement some Dutch parenting ideology in your family. Learning more about their way of parenting was exactly what I needed to stop feeling out of control and start embracing each season of my baby’s development.
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