When I found out I was having a boy, I figured I’d get him circumcised. I’d heard that it was cleaner for a male to be circumcised, and at the time, I was religious enough to think that I should at least do it because, well, my religion said to.
But my husband — circumcised himself — asked me this: “Why? I wish it hadn’t been done to me.”
And I actually fought this
I brought up all the reasons touted online:
“It’ll make him feel bad because he’s the only kid who isn’t circumcised.”
“It’s less likely to get infected.”
And so on.
My husband wasn’t having any of it
“My parents literally made the decision for me,” he said. “I had no choice but to get part of my body cut off.”
That made me stop arguing and think carefully about the entire procedure. The way the hospital would whisk our son away, clamp his penis, and cut off supposedly unnecessary skin. Would they even numb the site first?
I found out that they might rub some topical numbing cream on my baby’s skin first. Might. Jesus. Or, he might be able to get an injection at the base of his penis before the surgery. Pain, either way.
I thought about how awful it would be to spend the first days of his life with a wound on such a central part of his body. Would peeing hurt? Would diapers? Just because babies can’t tell us they’re in pain with words doesn’t mean they don’t feel searing pain, both during circumcision and afterward.
After doing more research, I couldn’t believe I hadn’t extensively researched circumcision before pushing for it.
I marked the “no” option on the hospital paperwork
No, I would not be circumcising my son.
If he wants to get his foreskin cut off when he’s an adult, that will be his choice. Honestly? I think that’s how it should be.
Not many uncircumcised men choose to get circumcised in adulthood. And when they do, guess what? They go under general anesthesia in many cases. Local anesthesia at the very least.
Things are supposedly changing, but for the longest time, newborns weren’t given anything to numb the pain. Now, some places seem to offer a shot of local anesthesia if they’re super lucky, cream if they’re sort of lucky, or nothing at all.
WTF? Do we really think that newborns don’t feel the same pain as grown men? That may be what people thought back before modern science, but we now know that babies feel pain like adults do.
So let’s lay off the circumcisions
Or at least think very, very carefully before checking the “yes” box. Even those of us who grew up religious can stop and think about what we’re doing. Why not wait until our sons are older and give them the choice? Or let them wait until adulthood?
Circumcision is becoming less common in the United States. In much of the world, baby boys are spared the procedure: the majority of parents in Asia, South and Central America, and Europe don’t circumcise their babies.
Thanks to his dad, my son did not get circumcised. It was perfectly fine. No infections, no more difficult to clean than any other genitalia, nothing. He’s now a happy, healthy kid with zero genital issues.
I’ll give him the option to get circumcised later on if he wants it, but something tells me that the idea of getting part of his penis cut off just won’t appeal to him.
