The first time it happened, my son was 4 months old. My husband was changing his diaper on our bed, as he had probably hundreds of times before. He turned his back for one second, and the next thing he knew – BANG! – our son was on the floor, crying.
I rushed into the room, because I’d heard the loud clang of his little head, and the crying
By the time I got there, my son was totally fine, lying on his back, kicking his tiny legs around, looking up at me, like “What the heck just happened?”
He broke into a gummy smile when I picked him up, so I knew he was fine. But I wasn’t. I was shaken, rattled, and I felt like the most awful parent in the world. Even though a quick call to my pediatrician assured me that all was probably just fine, and that this happens all the time, I couldn’t stop thinking about the thud of his head hitting the floor.
Soon after, it became apparent that our son was a lot more mobile than we understood
He began rolling and scooting soon after the falling off the bed incident, and we knew to keep strict vigil over his movements.
We thought we were totally on top of things until about five months later, when he fell of the bed again. My husband was gone for the weekend and I was home alone. It was about 10 p.m. and my son had woken up to nurse. I took him into my bed, nursed him, and lay with him for a bit. Suddenly, I had to pee — badly — so I made a mountain of pillows at the edge of the bed and tiptoed away.
Two minutes later, CRASH!
I ran to the side of the bed, and there was my baby, screaming his little head off. I remembered what had happened last time, and I tried to assure myself that he would be fine. But that was until I picked him up and looked at him.
The whole side of his head was red and banged up. And he continued to cry piteously.
I called my husband, frantic, asking for help.
He’s always the one who’s calm in these situations, so he asked me a serious of questions. “Does he have good color?” “Is he breathing well?”
By the time he was done asking me all the questions, my little guy was smiling at me through tears, reaching for my glasses, and snatching them off my face. He was fine. Of course.
But I was less fine than I’d been before.
I hated that this time it was totally my fault. I hated that he still had red marks on his face from falling. And, I’ll be totally honest, I was too anxious about it all to call our pediatrician.
I scoured the internet from advice, and looked up any warning signs I should watch out for – vomiting, loss of consciousness, bleeding, etc. – none of which he had. I learned that I should watching out for concussion signs for the next 24 hours, and to take him to the doctor with any concerns.
These falls are scary but usually harmful
“Even though it can be frightening, a fall from a bed does not usually cause any serious harm,” the article from Medical News Today assured.
My rational mind knew he was fine, but I spent the next 24 hours wracked with worry. And guilt – so much guilt.
The next day, I rushed to the store to buy bedrails for our bed (best investment ever), and my son never did fall off the bed again. Still, that mama guilt lingered for quite some time, and I still feel horrible when I think about it today.
A few years ago, I mentioned it to my parents. And guess what? I had fallen off the changing table when I was a baby. My dad told me he still feels awful about it. Throughout the years, I’ve confided in my friends about my son’s two falls – and most had similar stories.
Yet no one seems to talk about this ever
The thing is, everyone should take precautions so that falls don’t happen, because in some cases they can cause serious injuries. But the truth is that almost everyone’s baby falls off a bed, a changing table, or something else at some point or another. And probably 90% of the time, they are just fine.
So, maybe it makes sense for us parents to lose the guilt about these little mistakes we all freaking make? Yep, I think it’s about time we did.
