Like fingerprints and snowflakes, no two kids turn out the same. Is it just their genes, or is it us? I didn't plan on parenting differently the second time around, yet I feel like I've become such a different mom. Here's how I've changed:
1. I'm Smarter – As a second-time mom, there's a healthy sense of "been there, done that." It's not that I don't appreciate my baby's unique journey, but I know what to expect, and I'm ready for it. Which is why my second baby hasn't accidentally rolled off the bed. (Sorry, first kid.)
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2. I'm Calmer – I wasted a lot of energy with my first baby just full-on panicking. What's that noise she made? How come she only scoots backwards? Why is her poop green? This time, I'm not racing to the pediatrician with a perfectly healthy baby unless she suddenly turns into a unicorn.
3. I'm Less Rigid – Baby #1 ate the recommended rice cereal. Baby #2 nibbles on my sandwich and occasionally drinks the bath water. Speaking of which, gone is the infant tub with the protective hammock; I tossed the second babe in the big tub with me. (It saves my back, and I get clean, to boot.) I'm breaking minor parenting rules left and right, and we're both having more fun.
4. I'm Older– My kids are four years apart, which means I've aged about 20 years in mom time. My knees make noise when I go up the stairs. I get winded playing tag. And I'm So. Damn. Tired. On the bright side, I may also be wiser (see #1).
I'm breaking minor parenting rules left and right, and we're both having more fun.
5. I'm Quieter – One of the best things I did raising my first baby was to speak to her constantly. I narrated her experiences, labeled sights and sounds, and generally never stopped singing and talking. Perhaps as a result, she's highly verbal with a great vocabulary. And now she's the one who never stops talking. EVER. When I finally have a peaceful moment alone with the baby, I'm so relieved, I might go 20 minutes without opening my mouth—except to smile.
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6. I'm More Distracted – My preschooler is great at playing by herself—until the moment I start paying too much attention to the baby. Then, all of a sudden, my big girl needs milk and a snack and a toy from a high shelf and help drawing a heart and where is her tiara and Oh My God I forgot about the baby who, thankfully, is just hanging out on the floor watching us.
7. I'm More Focused – Contradiction! But let me explain.There's nothing I can do about the four-year-old pulling focus from the baby, but I find I'm better at controlling my reaction to other, more minor distractions. Phone ringing? Dishes piled up? Screw it. As any second-time mom knows, the baby phase goes way too fast. I'd rather just stop and smell her head.
Photograph by: Amy Wruble
