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Teething
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Growth spurt
-
Can’t vote
-
Pining for the fjords
-
Can’t walk, blames you
-
Just an asshole
-
Retroactively upset about the "Lost" finale
-
Too hot
-
Too cold
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Paste! The whole time the necklace was made of PASTE!
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Time slipping through her fingers too quickly
-
Wants a pacifier
-
Remembered on this day in a past life she lost a pocket watch
-
Overtired
15 .Had a premonition of a future where insects are our main protein source
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Standardized testing
-
Clowns
-
Gas
-
One of those baby illnesses that worries you to death for three days then goes away on its own
-
Bored
-
Resemblance between crib and a jail cell suddenly occurred to her
-
No matter how hard she tries, can’t eat toes
-
Mobile getting too predictable, JUST SAW THAT STAR DAMMIT
-
Wants a new lullaby
-
.Can’t get tickets to Hamilton
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Separation anxiety
-
Batman villains are cooler than Batman himself
-
Global warming
-
Everything is a goddamn remake
-
Joni Mitchell will never be acknowledged for her genius
-
Tag on sleep sack is itchy
-
Needs a diaper change
-
Needs a witness
-
Needs somebody to lean on
-
Wants daddy
-
Re-asserting rightful position as center of the universe
-
Can’t get comfortable
-
Plans for world domination thwarted by inability to read
-
Impatient to have a birthday
-
Thinks she’s singing Puccini right now
-
Ear infection
-
Fuller House
-
Wants a dog
-
Sleeves. Sleeves are the worst.
-
Exercising her vocal cords
-
Knows what you did last summer
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-
Wants wheels instead of these useless legs
-
Trying to make you feel guilty, succeeding
-
Knows this night will ultimately be smooshed into a giant brain-pudding of newborn memories and all you’ll remember are the smiling moments in the photos, not the frustration of waiting for a wailing child to finally close her eyes
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Pooped
