As the mother of a baby, you'll get way more attention, comments and questions than you would if you were just out and about on your own. Some of this action is fun and even welcome, but there are some questions that you'd rather never hear uttered by another human being. Here are some from the list of of my personal least-favorites.
1. "Is she a good baby?"
Even though my kids are older now, this question still drives me crazy when I think about it. Is the person really asking if your baby is good or bad? They might as well just ask, "Is your baby evil or what?" Seriously, what makes a baby bad? Poor sleeping habits, colic, breastfeeding problems? These are typical baby problems and babies can't help it. They're babies and that's what some babies do. It has no bearing on their characters, so people need to please stop asking new moms if their baby is a good one or not because the question frankly sucks.
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2. "Won't you spoil him if you hold him all the time?"
With just a few words, this question puts moms on the defensive, which makes asking this a butthole move. Moms hold their babies because their babies thrive on it, it helps them stay content and they are less stressed-out. These are good things!
It's better if people realize that we (and our child's doctor) know how she's doing and your question is just rude.
3. "Can I feed her ice cream/hot dogs/junk food/major allergens?"
No. You can't feed my baby anything without my approval because I'm pretty much the only person (aside from my partner) who knows what kind of foods she can eat. Some foods are dangerous for babies, and some she may be allergic to. Don't try to give my kid an ice cube to suck on, don't feed her grapes and definitely don't feed her Cracker Jacks. She won't feel deprived that she can't have any birthday cake, and you don't have to feel sorry for her because I don't want her to have ice cream yet—she really doesn't care.
4. "Should you be eating that if you're breastfeeding? Doesn't it bother your baby?"
This is another question that puts moms on the defensive. Most likely, we know what our nursing babies can or can't handle. If I can eat curry and salsa and broccoli, then I probably know that my baby doesn't mind the flavor, it doesn't give him gas and you can leave me alone now thanks.
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5. "How much does your baby weigh? She looks big/small for her age."
Babies are super individual, simply because they are all individuals. When you question a kid's size, it can sound you're really questioning if her parents know what they're doing. Are they feeding her enough, or are they not? It's better if people realize that we (and our child's doctor) know how she's doing and your question is just rude. We don't have cookie-cutter babies, any more than we would be able to have clones. Just stop.
So most questions asked by friends, family, acquaintances and strangers are friendly and benign—but others aren't. What would you add to this list?
Image via Twenty20/fxb3
