In this article
Of all the decisions you’ll make as parents-to-be, choosing a name for your baby can be among the most challenging. While some couples make it easy by using the same first name for generation after generation, others may prefer to choose from the thousands of unique, classic, or downright trendy names. If you find yourself paralyzed by indecision and are finding you can’t name your baby no matter how hard you try, remember that this should be an enjoyable process — not an agonizing one.
More from Mom.com: The Definitive List of Questions to Ask Before You Decide On a Baby Name
How to name your baby without stressing yourself out
Start your baby-naming journey by taking the pressure off yourself to choose the most popular or unique name. “Each of us thinks, well, I just happen to prefer uncommon names. But really, that’s our whole generation,” author and baby name expert Laura Wattenberg told NPR. “The most common opinion you can have is not to like things that are common. Popular just means well liked. No child’s life was ruined by having a popular name.”
Next, take a deep breath and try these practical steps to narrow down your search.
Make a list, check it twice
Make a physical list of all of the names you’re considering. Have your spouse do the same. If you don’t yet know the baby’s gender or would like a gender-neutral name, make sure to include unisex names on the list. See if any of your choices match, and then narrow your list to the top three. Even though you have nine months to analyze your options, you may still want to wait until your baby arrives to make your final decision.
Sleep on it
If your spouse is set on naming your daughter after Great Aunt Ethel, but you’d prefer a trendier name such as Addison, tension can arise — especially when dealing with those oh-so-fun pregnancy hormones. Instead of exchanging words you’ll regret later, remind yourself to remain open-minded and flexible. If you must, tell your spouse you’ll sleep on it, and then share your thoughts in the morning. The name you dislike at 11:30 p.m. may actually sound appealing after a decent night’s rest.
Put Malcolm – or Declan – in the middle
If you’re deadlocked on two or three of your favorite names, you might use one as the middle name. Likewise, if your spouse insists on including a family’s long-standing name like John but you’d prefer something different — perhaps Declan — suggest using the legacy name as a middle name. As the child matures, he can decide whether he wants to be known as John or Declan.
More from Mom.com: Baby Name Pitfalls to Avoid
Should I use a random name generator?
Random name generators — where you let the AI bots choose a name for your baby — are all the rage, and a Google search will bring up many sites to choose from. But do you want a machine to name your precious offspring, without any knowledge of your personal preferences, your heritage, or any other vital information that usually influences this important decision? One pregnant person on Reddit thinks not.
“I was searching online for potential baby names. I was struggling a bit and thought to use a random name generator for ideas,” a user wrote on the platform. “I decided to narrow it down to the whimsical category, thinking it would give me names like ‘Pixie’ or ‘Willow.’ Nope.” She then lists some of the monikers the generator chose for her baby, including ‘Barleyhauler,” “Potatograzer,” and “Atomic Mistress.”
Although your results may vary, it might be best to leave it up to yourself, your partner, and maybe other humans to help you choose a name.
Pro tip: Name your baby but keep it to yourself
While you may be tempted to ask your friends and family for advice, don’t. Too many suggestions can fuel your level of indecisiveness — especially if your parents or in-laws tell you they hate your choice or if they have clearly identified the person after whom they expect their grandchild to be named. Even if you’re not 100 percent sure of your decision until you must provide your baby’s name to obtain a birth certificate, keep the chosen name to yourselves until you’ve made the name official.
Another reason to keep the chosen name to yourself: Someone else might decide they love that unique name just as much as you do, and may decide to give it to their baby. Yes, along with all the other stressors of pregnancy, you can add name-thievery to your list.
“Years before my wife and I were pregnant, I shared the name we loved with the new couple who had moved in downstairs,” Bethany Cook, a Chicago-based clinical psychologist, told VeryWell Family. “A year later we saw the same name on a ‘meet the newest member of the family’ email.”
Even if it’s not intentional, name-stealing does happen. So it’s best to keep that name under wraps. “If you have a name that’s really special to you, hedge your bets and don’t share it ― because someone is going to hear it and even subconsciously save it,” etiquette expert Diane Gottsman told HuffPost. “We oftentimes don’t even remember where we heard something or got an idea, and then it becomes part of our everyday thinking. You’re not keeping it from someone because you don’t trust them. But you’re protecting something near and dear to you.”
Then again, you could always leak “Barleyhauler” to your pregnant frenemy and see what happens.
