Now that my older daughter's four, she's big enough to do chores and take responsibility for her own messes—or so I thought. Let's just say my attempts to get her to clean up after herself have not been so successful. Even when I sing that catchy little song, "Clean up, clean up, everybody, everywhere/Clean up, clean up, everybody do their share"—I'm the only one doing my share. My share is 100%.
Here's what my kid does when she doesn't want to clean up, which is always:
- Negotiates: "Can I keep playing and then I'll clean up after dinner?" No. Unless I'm just too tired to argue and then yes.
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Stalls: "Wait, I just have to finish building these five different towers." Sometimes I fall for this, because, you know, creative expression.
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Turns the tables: "It's your mess, you clean it up." This is patently false as well as disrespectful, but you have to admire the gumption.
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Ignores me completely. Either I am mute or she is deaf. Or perhaps I've started speaking in tongues.
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Distracts from the issue: "Mom, I'm really hungry." No way. Then I'll have a snack to clean up too.
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Wanders away. Now you see her… now she's in her room making a brand new giant mess.
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Goes on the defensive: "Mommy, you always interrupt me when I'm playing." That's true, because she never stops playing.
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Goes on the offensive: "You're not my friend anymore!!!" Oh well.
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Outright refuses: "Noooooooo." And she's two years old again.
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Offers empty promises: "I'm going to do such a good job cleaning up as soon as I'm done playing." Uh huh. Screw me once…
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Shoots for the moon: "If I clean up, can I have a popsicle and watch Sleeping Beauty?" Absolutely! (I never have to make good, since she will get distracted while cleaning and be playing again in two minutes.)
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Butters me up: "Mommy, you're so pretty." I'd be even prettier in a clean house.
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Acts cute: "Look at me, I'm painting a picture of our whole family!" Is that big splotch of red paint spilling onto my white chair supposed to represent me, having a heart attack?
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Makes a much bigger mess. Would this have happened if I'd just kept my mouth shut?
