10 Things I Want to Know About the Royal Baby

Kate and William welcomed little George, the royal baby, to the world last month. Having a British husband, I too, got caught up in the pomp and circumstance of it all. I watched the royal baby coverage and even went to an English pub to have a pint with a friend in honor of the future king that evening. Yes, the royal baby is on my mind, and my curiosity about his birth is unending. Here are 10 questions I have concerning the royal baby and his birth.

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1. Will he call Camilla, "Grandma"?

Though “Camillagate” and her relationship with Prince Charles made her extremely unpopular in the beginning, Camilla has been in the family for eight years now. She is the Duchess of Cornwall and, as such, she is the second-highest ranking female in the United Kingdom Order of Precedence, after the Queen, herself. The Queen is clearly cool with C-Dawg now and has even let her wear the Queen Mother’s tiara. But still, Camilla is NOT the Princess of Wales. That was precious Diana’s title. And being that William, who along with Harry, keeps Diana and her memory as much a part of their lives as possible, he will probably honor his mother as the sole bearer of an even more honored title: grandma.

2. How did William hold up during labor and delivery?

Was he intense in a, “Make eye contact with me, Kate! You can DO THIS!” way? Was he calmly doing breathing exercises with her? Did his eyes widen, and did his gag reflex pipe up at any point?

We are told that William changed the first nappy. And the way that William held the baby outside the hospital and later put him in the car with the car seat before driving home shows us that he is a modern, hands-on dad. It’s been reported that William had been preparing for fatherhood by reading Commando Dad: Basic Training, written by Neil Sinclair, a former British Commando. Maybe this means he also read all the What-to-Expect-type books and was ready for the blood, sweat and tears that is childbirth.

3. Was Pippa bummed because she couldn’t be in the labor and delivery room?

I know that Kate just wanted her husband to be in the delivery room with her. But did this drive Pippa crazy? Kate also wanted to be the bride—getting proper “bride attention"—at her wedding to William, but Pippa had to wear that tight, little number and scene-steal. OK, I know, that’s unfair—Pippa wouldn’t try to steal the show while her sister was giving birth. Scrubs are not very flattering. We all know that.

4. Will the Queen change Georgie’s diapers?

Witnesses have reported that the Queen enjoys a low-key, informal home life, with the family even preparing meals together and doing the washing up every now and then. And we all know how much the Queen loves her corgis. If she’ll clean up after a corgi, then wiping a sweet, baby George tushy should be no problem at all. But if she isn’t game, then we know that Prince Harry is down to change a nappy. He changed one on a doll at a charity event a few months ago. Though he struggled and did it quite awkwardly, we know that he is willing and, like anyone, will get better with practice.

Did trumpets sound in the delivery room during the royal crowning?

5. Did the doctor break her water with a ceremonial sword?

Royalty loves tradition, and traditions surrounded the royal birth. There was a royal salute of 41 guns fired by the King’s Troop of the Royal Horse Artillery. And Will and Kate honored tradition by giving their son a royal name, George. So why wouldn’t there be regal ceremony in the labor and delivery room? OK, this would never happen, but I do like to imagine a string quartet playing Vivaldi’s "Four Seasons" while she pushed.

6. Did trumpets sound in the delivery room during the royal crowning?

That was funny and you know it.

7. What kind of hats will Princess Beatrice and Eugenie wear to his christening?

I would be thrilled if either or both of the princesses would incorporate Sophie the Giraffe—the popular, squeaky, rubber teether—into the top of one of their hats as homage to baby George.

8. Are there epaulets on his onesies?

That would be a damn cute onesie, but perhaps it could be confused for a Michael Jackson onesie. There is no doubt that little George will be wearing beautiful clothing fit for a king. For his christening, he will be donning a replica of the same lace-and-silk robe that nearly every royal baby had worn since 1841. But 172 years takes it toll on a royal robe, so Queen Elizabeth II commissioned a replica of the frock in 2008.

9. Was the doctor like, “Whoa, dude!”?

You would think that the doctor who delivered Kate’s baby, Marcus Setchell, was freaking out to be the one to bring the future king into the world. But, as it turns out, Setchell has delivered other royal babies—Lady Louise and her brother James, the Viscount Severn. He’s also been the Queen’s gynecologist since 1990 and was made a Commander of the Royal Victorian Order for his service to the Royal Family. So, I guess he was more like, “Old hat, gentlemen.”

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10. Isn’t Kate amazing? As all moms know, being pregnant is a bitch. But Kate had to be pregnant, with all that emotion and fatigue, in front of the world. Furthermore, when she made her appearance with the royal baby, she looked happy, healthy and stunning! She was a beaming beauty on the very next day after giving birth to a baby. People were so impressed that she did not try to hide her one-day-post-baby belly. I was impressed that she was vertical, walking without a visible wince on her face, and not crying!

She may be a duchess, but she’s still a woman with hormones. Slice it any way you want; there is nothing regal about childbirth. When you are in those stirrups, grunting, with a sweaty upper lip, princess or pauper, it’s all the same. But Kate handled it all with class and style.

Well done, Kate! You are a warrior! Now, go pump.